Cut Off Your Own Hand, Not Hers: Jesus on Lust, Masculinity, and Blaming Women ~ Matt. 5:27-30

 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so I want to begin by naming the context in which we live. More than 1 in 4 American women have experienced sexual abuse, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. That is more than 43 million women. And the church is not immune to this. Sometimes the church has confronted this violence. Sometimes it has been silent. And sometimes its own leaders have tragically helped create the very culture that allows it to flourish.

 

There is an entire Christian vocabulary built around this culture: “Don't tempt men. Don't cause men to stumble. Dress modestly. Don't make yourself an occasion of sin.” And here's the problem: The woman is being asked to control her body because the man can't control his. And I want to ask this morning: Is that what Jesus says?

Because listen to Jesus. “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.” And notice something almost painfully obvious. Jesus doesn't say, “Women, don’t wear shorts.” He doesn't say, “Women, stop enticing men.” He says to the person doing the objectifying: Deal with yourself.

Jesus uses some of the strongest language in the New Testament to make a clear and painful point: “Men, cut off your own hand. Not hers. Gouge out your own eye. Not hers.” Jesus puts responsibility for what we do with our desire squarely on the person who possesses the desire. And that is a profoundly different vision of masculinity.

 

Christian culture has spent an extraordinary amount of time motivating women to prevent men from sinning. Jesus spends his time teaching men how to become people who take responsibility for themselves. Because there is often a straight line from the familiar Christian warning, “Girls, be careful how you dress,” to much more dangerous questions, “Why did she make him do that?” “What was she wearing?” “Why didn't she leave?” And suddenly the man who committed the act disappears from the center of the story. The woman is on trial. And Jesus will have none of that.

And for those of you who have lived through that kind of blame, I want to say this plainly: you were not responsible for someone else's violence, coercion, or abuse. Your clothing did not cause it. Your body did not cause it. Your sexuality did not cause it. You did not make someone hurt you. Jesus does not put you on trial here. He places responsibility where it belongs.

Because Jesus' teaching is not about identifying women as lustful problems. Jesus’ teaching is about making men more responsible for their lustful problems. So what does Jesus actually mean by “lust”? The Greek word, epithymeō, translated “lust” in many English Bibles is bigger than mere sexual desire. Jesus isn't saying, “If you notice that someone is attractive, congratulations—you have committed adultery.” He's talking about something much deeper: coveting, possession.

That's why this passage is about more than sexual attraction. It’s about objectification. The negative movement is from, “I see you,” to, “I want you,” to, “I am entitled to you.” And that last movement is where things become dangerous. Attraction says, “She’s beautiful.” Entitlement says, “She owes me access to her beauty.” Desire says, “I am drawn toward her.” Possession says, “I want her for me.” Jesus isn't saying, “Stop being a sexual person.” He's saying, “Stop turning people into things.” In the patriarchal society Jesus lives in, where men have all the power, that’s radical.

And then comes the cutting part – the pointed part: “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.” Jesus is using outrageous hyperbole. He's not giving instructions for self-mutilation. He's saying: Take this seriously.

This is where the passage becomes prophetic. The history of patriarchy has often involved men trying to control women's bodies in order to manage men's desires. Jesus reverses the direction. You don't get to perform surgery on somebody else's body because you haven't learned how to deal with your own. Cut off your own hand. Not hers. Gouge out your own eye. Not hers. Take responsibility for yourself.

And there's another layer here. Why the “right eye”? Why the “right hand”? In the biblical imagination, the right side was associated with strength, honor, power, and authority. So Jesus' shocking imagery points beyond sexual self-control toward something larger. If your power is causing you to harm somebody else, surrender your power. If your authority makes you entitled, surrender your authority. If your privilege makes you incapable of hearing “no,” surrender your privilege. If your masculinity requires somebody else to become smaller, cut off that vision of masculinity.

 

This is where Jesus gives us a different vision. Toxic masculinity says that a real man gets what he wants, doesn't take no for an answer, is sexually dominant, controls women, doesn't show weakness, and is always in charge. And Jesus says “no.” “Whoever wants to be first must be servant of all” (Mark 9:35). Jesus redefines strength, leadership and power. The greatest person becomes the servant. And eventually Jesus takes a towel and washes the feet of his disciples and says, “This is my example for you.” That is Christian masculinity. Not, “How many people can I control?” but, “Whose feet am I willing to wash?” Not, “Who owes me?” but, “How can I serve?” Not, “Who has to submit to me?” but, “How can I use whatever power I have to make another person more free?”

And that brings us back to abuse. Because this isn't merely about lust. It’s about what happens when distorted desire combines with power. What happens when attraction becomes entitlement. What happens when entitlement encounters rejection. What happens when a man has been taught that his authority is something a woman must honor. And then we discover that the theology we teach about men and women has consequences in actual human bodies.

This is why we have to take domestic violence seriously. Abuse is about the misuse of power. And Christian communities have sometimes made that worse by giving men theological support for domination. That’s why we have to be willing to say that some Christian teaching about masculinity has failed. Not Christianity. Not Jesus. Us.

Brothers, what does “cut off your own hand” look like? It looks like men who can hear “no” without becoming angry. Men who can be corrected by women without becoming defensive. Men who can apologize without mansplaining. Men who don't confuse sexual attraction with entitlement. Men who correct another man when he crosses a line. Men who believe survivors rather than immediately interrogating them. Men who can say, “I did that.” “That’s wrong.” Or “I need help.” Men who seek counseling when their anger is becoming dangerous. Men who don't hide sexual misconduct behind the phrase, “She made me.” Jesus says: Take responsibility for what happens inside you.

 

And none of us becomes Christlike through secrecy. That's why confession matters. That's why accountability matters. That's why friendship matters, counseling matters, community matters. And perhaps this is where we need to rethink the whole language of “stumbling blocks.” For generations, women have been told, “Don't make men stumble.”

But a woman is not a stumbling block. A woman's beauty is not a moral emergency. A woman's confidence is not seduction. A woman's leadership is not a threat. A woman's freedom does not diminish a man. A woman's “no” is not an offense. Women are human beings, sisters, full-fledged partners.  And Jesus demonstrates what that looks like. Women learn from Jesus, follow Jesus, support Jesus' ministry. Women sit at his feet as disciples, challenge him, and become the first proclaimers of the resurrection.

 

Jesus doesn't spend his ministry protecting men from women. He spends his ministry liberating women and men from systems that prevent them from becoming fully human. He’s forming a radically different kind of community: a community where women aren't objects, where men aren't trained to dominate, where power is exercised for the sake of others, where the vulnerable are protected, where repentance is possible, and where nobody has to become less human so somebody else can feel more powerful.

Brothers, you don't have to be afraid of this conversation. This is not an accusation against every man in this room. It’s an invitation: Become the kind of man Jesus is making possible. A man who can be strong without being domineering, sexual without being predatory, a partner without controlling, apologize without collapsing, receive correction without becoming defensive, and use power without abusing it. Become a man who can see a woman and see a person. Not an object. Not a temptation. Not a possession. A person. An image-bearer. A beloved child of God. A sister. A neighbor. A fellow disciple.

So what is Jesus not teaching us? Jesus isn’t teaching us to hate our bodies. He's teaching us to surrender our entitlement. He's not teaching us to fear sexuality. He's teaching us to stop confusing desire with possession. He's not teaching us to control women. He's teaching us to control ourselves. He's not teaching us that strength is domination. He's teaching us that strength can look like surrender.

 

And that’s why Jesus' words are ultimately liberating. Because the man who blames women is not free. The man whose masculinity depends upon controlling others is not free. But the man who can say, “I don't have to possess you to love you,” is free. The man who can say, “Your freedom doesn't threaten me,” is free. The man who can say, “I was wrong,” or “I need help” is free. The man who can kneel down and wash feet—is free.

So this October, as we remember the victims and survivors of physical and sexual abuse, the church's prayer should not simply be, “God, protect women from dangerous men.” Our prayer should be: “Jesus, make us into people who refuse power without love.” Teach us to notice, to listen, to repent, to protect, to surrender, and to serve. Help our sexuality to become something more beautiful than possession.

The good news is that Jesus doesn’t simply tell us what to stop doing. He shows us what we can become. We can learn a new way. We can become safer people. We can become freer people. And I want to say one more thing to anyone here who has survived abuse: your story does not have to be finished today. You don't have to forgive before you're ready. You don't have to reconcile with someone who has harmed you. You don't have to pretend that what happened didn't matter. Jesus is not asking you to carry more. The good news is that Jesus meets you with love, dignity, and freedom—and you’re allowed to receive that love at your own pace.

When women become freer, men do not become weaker. When women rise, the kingdom of God rises with them. So sisters and brothers – rise, rise, rise! Amen.