Call to Worship
Men and
women, be imitators of God,
as dearly
loved children
Submit to
one another out of reverence for Christ.
Men and
women, live in love
As Christ has
loved us
Submit to
one another out of reverence for Christ.
Men and
women, live as children of light,
For the
light is all that is good and right and true
Submit to
one another out of reverence for Christ.
When I was a kid, I loved the toys found in cereal or
Cracker Jack boxes, particularly the ones with decoder rings or things that
helped you crack a code or create a puzzle. I loved pretending I was spy using
tools to decode messages or send coded messages to friends. Of course, none of
them were too complicated. Truth be told you could pretty much crack them, even
without the code, but it certainly helped to have them. Now, I don’t believe
the Bible is a secret code to be cracked nor is it filled with hidden meanings
that we must decipher. It is, however, an ancient book and we must be careful
to read it closely, mindful of its premodern origins, foreign culture and
language as well as its divine pedigree. So we sometimes need help with certain
tools or ideas to truly understand its meaning. By the way, that’s one of my
takeaways from this series. I think closely investigating the role of women in
the Bible is a great way to learn how to read it. And that might be no more
true than with the final text of our series today. Growing up, I was always
taught that this was the clearest text which proves that men must be the heads
of their homes and the final decision makers of their families. This passage
supposedly promoted the idea of “male headship” which teaches that
men are to be the spiritual leaders of their households. But is that right? Is
that the message? Let’s take a look.
Don’t lose your head. It’s not primarily about marriage.
Right of the bat, it’s helpful to acknowledge that Paul is
using his own ancient code ring of sorts for our passage – not to hide its
message but make it plain.
He uses a common literary device found in both the Old and
New Testaments called a chiasm to draw people’s attention to an important
point. But if you don’t know what he’s doing, you can miss it. A chiasm is a
way of arranging thoughts in sentences to form an X-shaped pattern (the chi in
chiasm is the Greek letter X). The thoughts are stated sequentially in one
direction until a main point is reached; then the thoughts are repeated
in reverse order. In a chiasm, the important idea is at the center. By understanding the chiastic
structure of our passage, we
can see that Paul makes two (or more) corresponding statements about four
groups: wives, husbands, and Jesus and the church. Ephesians
5:22-23 is beautifully structured in order for Paul to make his main point. And
guess what – it’s not about marriage.
I’ve arranged our verses and designated them
(A, B, C, etc.) to show the chiastic structure and underlined keywords that are
repeated in the corresponding statement. X is the main point – it marks the
spot.
A Wives, [be submissive] to your own
husbands as to the Lord
B For the husband is the
head of the wife, as Christ also
is the head of the church
C He
himself is the Saviour of the body
D But as
the church is subject to Christ, also
the wives to their husbands
in everything
E
Husbands, love your wives just as
Christ also loved the church,
and gave
himself up for her
F That He
might sanctify her, having
cleansed her by the
washing of water
with the word
X That
he might present to
himself the church
in all her
glory
F1 Having
no spot or wrinkle or any
such thing, but that
she would be holy
and blameless
E1 So
husbands ought also to love their
own wives as their own
bodies. He who
loves his own wife loves himself.
D1 For no
one ever hated his own flesh, but
nourishes and cherishes
it, just as Christ also
the church.
C1 Because
we are members of his body.
B1 For this cause a man
shall leave his father and
mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the two
shall
become one flesh.
BX This mystery is great,
but I am speaking
with reference to Christ and with reference to
the
church.
B2 Nevertheless, let each
individual among you also
love his own wife even as himself
A1 And the wife is to respect her husband.
When
we recognize the structure of this passage we can more clearly see that Paul’s
message is not specifically about marriage; but found in vss. 27 and 32 which
are about Christ and the church. The point he is highlighting is that Jesus
wants to sanctify the church and present to himself the church in all her glory
and that we are to be united with Jesus as one body, as “one flesh,” which Paul
stresses at the end of the passage, breaking the form to say that husbands
should treat and care for the bodies of their wives as their own. When we
persistently focus on the obligations of wives and husbands and try to
interpret this passage only through the lens of pre-supposed gender roles, we
fail to hear Paul’s claim: “I am speaking with reference to Christ and with
reference to the church” (BX).
The
structure reveals that unity between Jesus Christ and his church (as both bride
and “body”) is a profound model for the union of marriage. As followers of
Jesus, both husbands and wives should be building unity, nurture, love, and
respect in their marriages. However, we must never lose sight of Paul’s point
that one day Jesus is going to present to himself a sanctified and spotless
church. This is the glorious hope of every redeemed man and woman. In the
meantime, let our relationships show that we are people who love like Jesus and
are being transformed by him into his body.
Don’t lose your head, it’s about mutuality.
In the Greek, Ephesians 5:22 makes no sense
without 5:21, which commands husbands and wives to “submit to one another”.
This is because verse 22 borrows the verb from verse 21 [called an eliding
verb]. There is no verb in verse 22. Verse 21 shows that Paul was not teaching sex-specific discipleship: husbands do one thing, and wives do another. True, he gives specific instructions which make sense in that cultural moment urging husbands to love and nurture their wives, and urging wives to be deferential, cooperative and loyal, but this doesn’t mean wives are exempt from being loving and nurturing, even though these are not mentioned, or that husbands are exempt from being submissive and respectful towards their wives, precisely because both are called to be mutually submissive in vs. 21. The general point of mutuality is further seen when we widen our gaze to the broader context of Ephesians, which calls for Christian unity and all Christians, not merely husbands, to love sacrificially as Christ loves.
Compare the almost identical language used in Ephesians 5:2 and 5:25:
“[Men and women] . . . walk in love (ἐν ἀγάπῃ),
just as Christ also loved (καθὼς καὶ ὁ Χριστὸς ἠγάπησεν) us
and gave Himself up for (καὶ παρέδωκεν ἑαυτὸν ὑπέρ) us . . .” ~ Eph. 5:2
“Husbands, love (ἀγαπᾶτε) your wives,
just as Christ also loved (καθὼς καὶ ὁ Χριστὸς ἠγάπησεν) the church
and gave Himself up for (καὶ ἑαυτὸν παρέδωκεν ὑπέρ) her . . .” ~ Eph. 5:25
The instructions for mutual submission in vs. 21 and sacrificial love in vs. 2 are given to all Paul’s readers: to men AND to women to love like Jesus. Submission isn’t just for wives, sacrificial love isn’t just for husbands. There is no dual discipleship ethic in Paul’s theology. The body of Christ is one. Different gifts?, sure. Different jobs?, yes. Different ways of following Jesus?, no.
Don’t lose your head, Heidi Chin. It’s about love and unity not power and authority.
I want to give a shout out to Heidi Chin. She grabbed me
after our service last week and asked a great question, a question that is a
bit of a game changer for our passage today. She asked for more examples of the
significance of culture in reading Biblical texts about men and women. Today’s
text is a perfect example of why attending to culture when reading the Bible is
important. It’s worth asking at this point, “Why is it that this text is used
by some to argue for men being the head of the household, the final decision
maker in marital disputes, when there is no mention of such things in the
text?” The instructions to husbands are about love, not leadership. Paul uses
the word “love” 6 times when speaking to husbands in Ephesians 5. 6 times:
(5:25 (twice), 5:28 (thrice), 5:33 (once). Paul uses words that mean “lead” or
“leader” or “authority” zero times when speaking to husbands in Ephesians 5.
Zero times. So why do people imagine that’s Paul’s point? Well, the answer has everything to do with a
misunderstanding of one word – “head.”
So now it’s time for Greek of the Week.
Our
important Greek word for this week is the word kephalē which means
“head.” That’s not hard. In the ancient world -
if you have a headache, you would say my kephalē hurts. We can
translate those words. It makes sense. However, in English when you want to
talk about the CEO of a company or the leader of a group you might also use the
word “head.” In Koine Greek, however, that is not the case. They didn’t use the
physiological part of the body – head – to describe the leader or ruler. They
had a different word for that archōn. They used kephalē to mean
source, origins, or source of life.
In Hebrew, the Israelites did actually use “head” to
metaphorically refer to a “leader” or a “chief person” but when the Hebrew
Scriptures were translated into Greek for Greek-speaking Jews, and the Hebrew rosh
or “head” was used to mean leader they typically used the Greek word archōn,
which means ruler or leader. The point is that our misunderstanding of “head”
as leader is the cultural mistake. Let me give you another example from a
different language/culture to make the same point. So in French they have the
word “walk / marche” and the word “work / faire.” Now, in English we use the
word work analogously to describe something functioning well. We ask, “Is your
computer working?” Or, we say, “That idea works.” But if you were to translate
that into French you would not use the word for “work / faire” but the verb
“marche / walk” because they use “walk” analogously for things that we say,
“work.” If something “works,” in French, then, “it walks.” Similarly, if one
wanted to say that someone was the leader of something in New Testament Greek,
they would not use “head” to describe it.
Paul is the only writer to say that the kephalē of
the woman is the man. He says this twice: 1 Corinthians 11:3 and in
Ephesians 5:23. It’s amazing to me that these two verses have been used to
create a pervasive doctrine of “male headship” within the church. By the way,
nowhere does Scripture ever teach that the man is the “head” of the house or
family. And while I can’t cover everything here, a few other points then follow
about husband/wife relationships:
The verb for “rule” is used twice in the Bible in reference
to husbands as rulers. The first is Genesis 3:16 which states that one of the
consequences of sin was that the husband would (not “should”) rule his wife.
The second is found in Esther 1:20-22 in which the Persian king Xerxes decreed
that husbands should rule their households. I’m pretty sure that Christians
should not take their cues for living from the consequences of sin or from
decrees by pagan kings.
The
idea that the husband is the final arbiter in difficult decisions also does not
exist in our passage or the Bible, which is to say I can find no verse of
Scripture which says that. The only biblical precedent I can find for
decision-making and authority in marriage is in 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 which
speaks of a husband and wife each having authority over the other and making a
mutual decision about their sex lives (1 Corinthians 7:4-5): 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body
but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have
authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do
not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time,
so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. This verse disallows a husband
from making a sole decision. In fact, Paul’s whole point in 1 Corinthians 7 is
that each person - husband/wife has authority over the other’s body.
So if the analogy of head and body is not
about leadership; what is it about?
Paul
makes several statements about the relationship between husbands and wives, and
he presents the relationship between Jesus and the Church as a model or
example. Paul uses a head-body metaphor to illustrate unity not authority. Metaphorically,
Jesus is the “head” united to the Church, which is his “body” (Eph. 5:22, 30).
Unity was made possible, and is maintained, because Jesus loves the Church
and gave himself up for her. The Church sustains this union by being
cooperative and faithful to Jesus.
Likewise,
in marriage, the husband (the metaphorical “head”) and the wife (the
metaphorical “body”) are united as one. To foster this unity, Paul urges
husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up
for her” (Eph. 5:25). He further clarifies that husbands should “love their own
wives as they love their own bodies,” and adds, “He who loves his wife loves
himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care
for their body, just as Christ does the Church” (Eph. 5:28-29). Paul sums up
his point by quoting Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father
and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Eph.
5:31)
If Paul’s point was authority, leadership or decision-making, why
wouldn’t he quote Genesis 3:16 which states that the husband would “rule” over
the wife? Instead, he quotes Genesis 2, which is the point of the head/body
metaphor – that Christ and the church be united as one. We see this imagined by
the medieval church in art work which connects Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5.
[IMAGE: The image is one which shows Jesus dying on the cross thus giving birth to the church, much like Adam gives birth to Eve from his side (c.f. the image above)]
What
is Ephesians 5 about? A church fashioned “bone of his bone” and “flesh of his
flesh.” May our marriages reflect that unity. May the church be one. May we all
be unified, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
